… s e x.
Well, actually, to be more accurate, I talked about it with Kiera today. It was another one of those awesome conversations that happened in the middle of our school morning, between finishing her creative writing piece and starting her maths.
Katie got the ball rolling by saying that she didn’t know how babies got into the mother’s stomach. And Kiera kept it rolling by attempting to answer using the knowledge that she already had from our previous discussions.
Katie lost interest after we established the "what goes where" bit. But not before we finally gave a name to the act itself. I asked Kiera what she thought it was called. She hummed and ha-ed and said,
"the meeting of the couple!"
I had a good chuckle to myself which turned into an out loud laugh when she clarified,
"not the meeting of the mom and dad, but the meeting of the p… and v…!
(yes, we use the anatomically correct words in these discussions, and no we don’t abbreviate them except in blog posts so as to steer clear from p0rn associations and internet filters!)
We had a bit of a chuckle about how random that sounded – as if the mom and the dad are busy with something else – mom chatting on the phone while dad writes an email – all while the "act" is happening of its own accord! Well, after the amusing discussion, we established what we normally call it, namely s..3..x (again, steering clear of those nasty filters!) I asked her what she thought the mom and dad did during this time, and she guessed "hugging and kissing".
Well, before long we had diagrams going and Kiera peppered me with a bunch of questions. I was drawing pictures of the ovulation cycle, uterus, fallopian tubes; discussing condoms, AIDS and more. All in answer to her questions. At one point she wanted to know if it was possible to time things exactly so that a couple could ensure that they fall pregnant that month. She asked,
"So, mom, when you do s3x, does the mom and dad have to…"
I really had to reign in the giggles then: "do s3x!" Waha! A gentle "it’s have s3x, sweetie" was sufficient correction. All while I giggled at the mental picture … do the laundry; do the dishes; do the s3x! Soon enough, however, we were off again, discussing this traditionally embarrassing topic as if we were talking about botany!
The whole time we were chatting away, I felt this deep sense of gratitude. I felt so grateful that…
- she was getting the information when she was ready for it. She hadn’t picked up skewed stuff from her peers; she hadn’t been exposed to inappropriate information at an earlier age from other kids or even teachers; and she was learning all these details safely. In today’s day and age, that is a huge blessing indeed.
- she was having the conversation with me. It’s a privilege (although, I would lean towards saying that it is a right as the parent) to be the one to discuss these things with our own kids. Who better to talk through these things openly and without embarrassment than one’s own parents?
- she felt safe. She showed no embarrassment once we established what the term s3x was. Our conversation was interesting, dynamic and fun, without a stitch of awkwardness. I didn’t feel the need to catapult her understanding before she was ready, so as to get to her before the world did. And she never felt the pressure to ask questions she really wasn’t ready to ask.
- her knowledge is being established in the biblical context. We talked about how wonderful s3x is and how God has designed it for marriage. We talked about the fall out that can really mess relationships up as a result of s3x outside of God’s design. Right off the bat, she’s learning that s3x is great, special and preserved for marriage. Later on in the game, she will, no doubt, be bombarded with the worldly ideas that s3x is great for everyone to enjoy whenever they want. But, her most foundational knowledge will be biblically based – and we will continue to build on that.
- she is homeschooled. I’m not dissing conventional schooling or suggesting that she would most certainly have a warped sense of s3x as a result of playground education. The reality is just that, while I could very easily have had a very similar conversation with her if she was going to school, homeschooling creates an environment where experiences like these are more the norm than they are the exception. So, when I have tougher days or am feeling a little (or a lot!) strung out, days like these are wonderful reminders once again that it’s worth it. And I am very grateful for that.
Pretty soon, our conversation wound down and Kiera was ready to move on. It took us about 1/2 hour off course, but, she tackled her maths with the vigour that a stimulating conversation can create and we carried on with our day as normal.
And I walked away from that conversation feeling lighter in spirit and with a renewed sense of awe at how my child is growing up, right before my very eyes!